a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
