The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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