Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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