I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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