i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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