Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
