I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
