shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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