so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
