I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
