You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
