Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
