Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
its not stalking. its research.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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