Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
