Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
