is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
