Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
