I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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