He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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