Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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