And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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