Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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