so that wasnt chicken after all
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
How external is "for external use only"?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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