the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
