I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
