Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
