I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
