Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
