On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
