Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Randomize
