He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
