Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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