so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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