Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
