alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
