just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
