So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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