Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
