Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
