she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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