thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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