Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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