Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize