I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
