Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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