Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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