either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
