My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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