if i died would you start the facebook group?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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