Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize