We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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