I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
