Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
