I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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