I'll bet she douches with gravy.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
