I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
