Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
