I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
