she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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