After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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