The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
