So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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